Tuesday, December 9, 2008

That sick sinking feeling

I am getting that sick feeling again. I saw Dr. Wilburn, my kidney doctor and he said I'm of good health (my creatinine is a little high and I am still a little anemic but in general I am pretty healthy).

That sick feeling I am referring to is the same feeling that I got sometime shortly after the Republican Convention. It was right after we got to meet Sarah Palin, John McCain's running mate. The concept of Sarah Palin being, literally, a heartbeat away from the Presidency gave me the willies. I hadn't been this scared and sure I was going to die since Ronald Reagan was president.

The few but seemingly endless weeks between the convention and the election was nerve racking. I took no comfort when the pundits were saying Barrack Obama was a shoo-in to be president (jinx!). And I got scared when the same pundits, including my favorite liberal, Rachel Maddow, were saying John McCain still had a good chance to pull a victory out of his ass. (Tell me it isn't so Rachel!)

For weeks I was tense and testy, was light headed and completely lost my appetite (I lost thirteen pounds during this time). I finally started feeling calmer once McCain lost Pennsylvania and Obama started picking up Red States. When Jon Stewart announced Obama was our new President-Elect, I was almost as emotional as Stephen Colbert, whose faux-Conservitive facade slipped briefly at his utter joy.

The honeymoon was not allowed to last. The Republicans said Obama had to govern from the center, that he did not have a mandate, despite the fact that Obama won more electoral college votes and a won by a larger margin the popular vote than George W. Bush did in 2004, when Bush had his "mandate."

Soon after, Obama started naming his financial team first (because the economy continues to circle down the drain) followed by his foreign policy team. Now the lefties and Obama supporters were upset because all of the appointees were all pretty centrist. Not a big "L" liberal in the bunch. My hunch is to wait until Obama announces his domestic team before passing judgment. It is pretty hard to find people experienced in government who haven't worked for either George Bush or Bill Clinton, but talking to a far-leftie is about as fruitful as talking with a right-winger. They both have unreasonable expectations of the world.

Two recent news stories are causing me great anxiety again. First the Supreme Court, particularly Justice Clarence Thomas was asked to hear a case that says Barrack Obama is not a real U.S. citizen and therefore not eligible to be President. The Supremes declined to hear this case, but they may listen to one of the other similar cases against Obama's presidency.

This reminds me of when Bill Clinton was elected President in 192, then Congressman Bob "B-1 (Bomber)" Dornan was calling for Clinton's impeachment because Clinton had visited Moscow when he was in college.

This just seems to be an endless game of "payback" going back to the impeachment of President Nixon (despite the fact it was members of Nixon's own party that asked him to resign) but mostly because of the well known controversies over the results of the 2000 election. Most of us, except the far lefties, got over the fact that it appeared that George Bush, with the help of his brother Jeb, the governor of Florida, Katherine Harris (the Florida Attorney General and Bush Campaign volunteer), and the Republican appointed Supreme Court, stole the 2000 Presidential election. Republicans called the Democrats "sore losers" but if that were true, then what is this?

Today a story broke about a corruption scandal involving the Governor of Illinois and Obama's vacated Senate seat. The governor, as corrupt a man as you'd ever meet, was trying to sell the vacated position to the highest bidder. There is no evidence that Obama is or was involved, quite the contrary. There appears to be evidence that Obama definitely wasn't involved, given that the Governor is on tape calling the President-Elect a "motherfucker." Though this isn't "Much Ado About Nothing," because it sure is something, the story gives aid and comfort to our enemies,( i.e. Limbaugh, Hannity, and Drudge).

I am afraid, once again, I will be a nervous wreck until Obama has taken the oath of office. As much as I have found 4:00 a.m. wake up calls, snooty nursing assistants, and the screams of dementia all around, I have been relatively calm of late. I stopped worrying so much about the future because I am convinced Obama is going to make things better. I feel confident that Medicare and Medicaid will be fully funded, that affordable or even free healthcare is on its way, granted it may take a few years. And my hope is that the money we spend on the war in Iraq will be diverted and spent on repairing the crumbling infrastructure, especially roads. Not just the Viaduct and the 520 bridge, but paving everyday roads. Try riding in the back of an ambulance or van on the freeway or on "Pill Hill" and tell me our roads don't need fixing.


Well, I wound up in fifth place in my fantasy football league so I won't be going to the play offs. Had I been able to make changes on any of the three games I missed do to recovering from heart surgery, I would be in second place. But to be fair had my team won yesterday I would. in fact, be in fourth place and in the playoffs. C'est la vie. I will definitely play next year, if invited. I will try to be a part of baseball fantasy too, but with a 162 game schedule it will require a lot of work, but since it looks like I will be disabled indefinitely, I guess I have the time.

When I was just taking the Oxycontin and/or Oxycodone for chronic pain I was able to "maintain" and do my job, but now that I am also taking 10 mg of Dilaudid and it makes me tired and stoned all day. Not stoned as in the way I like to be stoned, it's like having a cold or the flu without the cough, chills or runny nose.

Oh, well. It's almost 7:00 p.m. and the nurse is anxious for me to go to bed. I don't know why it's any business of hers, but I am tired anyway and I am not going to stay up to spite her. Pick your battles.

I am reading up on podcasting and am hoping to add a monthly or weekly podcast of what music I am currently listening to. I have the software I just have to figure out how to compress it and put it online.

Finally I want to send a shout out to my cousin Dusty, who sent me a Christmas card, which I received today, who says she is reading my blog. Hi Dusty! How is your Mom?

Another shout out goes to my ex-boss and current-buddy Nancy, who also sent me a card. We need to get the gang together soon.

Peace to all!

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